


Whatever you want to be

by MelikaJ



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Bittersweet, Childhood, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Gen, Marriage, Memories, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 14:19:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelikaJ/pseuds/MelikaJ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short one-shot for the Jaime/ Brienne challenge posted on tumblr.</p><p>Jaime has been released from his Kingsguard duties, and is Lord of Casterly Rock, happily married to Brienne. She gives birth to a daughter, but there are some complications...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whatever you want to be

Jaime gently cradled the little girl in his arms, cooing softly as she gazed up at him with her big blue eyes. He forced a smile, determined that her first hours would be of happiness, not fear, and so he internalised his panic at what was happening mere metres away. He lifted his eyes from his daughter for a second to glare intensely at the closed wooden door in front of him; the door which Brienne was behind, the door which he should be on the other side of. No amount of guards could have kept him out of there, but the maester had insisted that he needed space if he was to save Brienne’s life, and so Jaime had taken his daughter and walked out, hiding away inside himself as Brienne’s screams echoed around him. As he waited anxiously for the maester to call him back in, he recalled the moment when Brienne had first told him that she was pregnant.

 

He’d just come back in from a long day of training, and had sat down at the table opposite his wife, the sweet smell of freshly baked bread hanging in the air. It amused Brienne to have a male cook, and they’d found a wonderful young boy who went by the name of ‘Hot Pie’ to make their meals. Brienne had never been very good at hiding her emotions, and as soon as he looked at her face, he could tell that something was on her mind. “What is it, wench?” he’d asked, jokingly. ‘Wench’ had become an affectionate nickname for her, as it reminded them both of when they’d first met. She’d simply reached across the table and squeezed his good hand, whispering “I’m pregnant.” Jaime had felt even happier than the day he’d received his knighthood.

 

He paced outside that damned wooden door; the memory seemed a lifetime ago, excitement all but forgotten as he fretted over his future. Brienne was tough, if anyone could survive this, she could, but… There’d been so much blood. The maester had had to cut their daughter out, as there’d been a complication during the birth. Brienne was offered milk of the poppy, but she’d refused in case it endangered the baby’s life. Jaime had begged her to reconsider, but she’d simply shaken her head vehemently and ordered the maester to do it. Jaime had been unable to do anything but watch in horror as the bearded old man drove his knife into Brienne’s flesh, and started cutting.

 

“Lord Lannister.” The maester emerged from the door, a solemn look on his face. Jaime tightened his hold on his daughter (now snoring softly in his arms) as he rushed forward.

 

“Brienne? Is she alive? Please tell me that you saved her!” Jaime’s words came out in a croak, his mouth parched from all his anxiety.

 

“She lives, but she is weak. I’ve done all I can, but I make no promises. You may see her if you wis-” The maester wasn’t even able to finish his sentence before Jaime pushed hastily past him and ran to his wife’s side.

 

“Jaime.” Brienne’s loving tone almost broke his heart as he knelt by her, pressing a tender kiss on to her forehead. He wanted to hold her hand, but was afraid that he might drop the baby if he only had his stump to support her.

 

“I’m here, Brienne. I’m right here, I’m not going to leave you, so don’t you dare leave me. You need to stay, for my sake and for our daughter.” Jaime mumbled the words against her cheek, but Brienne’s responding smile was so feeble; her usual warrior-like attitude replaced with a terrifying vulnerability. He placed their daughter carefully on Brienne’s chest, trying to avoid the patches of red that stained the blanket, _so much blood._ The girl shifted, snuggling deeper into her mother’s warmth, but she didn’t wake.

 

“A daughter?” She asked him, new fire behind her sapphire eyes, causing them to glisten with emotion.

 

“That’s right, a daughter, another wench to keep me in line.” He winked at her, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

 

“Nobody could ever keep you in line.” Brienne joked back. He grinned, and then sobered, stroking the hair out of her face.

 

“I was nothing before I met you, Brienne, I was just a swordsman. You made me into the man I am, I owe everything to you. You’ve given me honour, and hope, and now you’ve given me a daughter. You’ve given me so much, yet I have to ask more of you… Don’t go. You can’t. You have to fight, okay, you have to fight, and live. You can do that, you’re so, so brave.” He pressed another kiss to her forehead, lingering with his lips against her skin, trying to pour all his love into the simple contact.

 

“I’m sorry, Jaime,” she whispered, “I’m dying. I can feel it.”

 

“NO!” Jaime shouted at her, rising, and punching his fist against the wall. Blood spilled from his cracked knuckles. “NO! YOU CAN’T!” Their daughter woke up and started wailing, and Jaime cursed himself for his lack of restraint, rushing to sit back next to his women. “Ssssh,” He murmured softly, placing his finger in the little girl’s hand, and allowing her to curl her fist around it, “Ssssh.” He sang a quiet lullaby, and the girl stopped crying, instead smiling up at him and Brienne.

 

“She’s so beautiful,” Brienne whispered with tears in her eyes, turning to Jaime, “she’s perfect.” She looked intently at him, “Jaime, you have to promise to protect her. Protect her from the cruel world that we live in. When I was young, I was forced to be a dutiful lady. I was treated like an inferior because of my gender, and it wasn’t until I was much older that I finally had the chance to be my own woman. Don’t let that happen to her. You’re a Lannister, you’re Lord of Casterly Rock, you have power; she never has to know how cruel the world can be, not until she’s old enough to understand that it doesn’t have to be that way. If she wants to sing and learn to dance, then you will fill the halls with bards and singers. If she wants to be religious, then you will find the best septa in the seven kingdoms. If she wants to fight with swords, then you will teach her how to use them. _She can be whatever she wants to be._ Promise me.”

 

“I promise,” was all he could say, and he truly meant it. He gasped as Brienne started choking, horrified to see specks of blood scattered across her lip. She tilted her head to beckon him closer.

 

“I know what I want her to be called,” she whispered, and she spoke the name into his ear. Jaime cried as he nodded in agreement.

 

“I love you so much, Brienne.” He choked the words through his tears.

“I love you too, Jaime.” She breathed, and Jaime watched as her eyes glazed over, and her chest ceased rising up and down. An inhuman moan of agony left his lips as he buried his head in her neck, touching his wife for the final time.

 

A tiny cough made him lift his head up, and he saw his daughter fixating him with her beautiful blue eyes, _Brienne’s eyes._ He picked her up, and held her tightly to his chest.

 

“It will be alright,” he whispered to the little girl, “I’m right here for you.”

 

**_6 years later_ **

****

“I’m going to get you, Daddy!” The little girl sang, swinging her wooden sword wildly through the air towards him. Her eyes were blue like her mother’s, and her hair was blonde like her father’s, but she was nowhere near as tall as either her mum or her dad had been at her age. She was wearing her ‘armour’, the leather breeches and tunic that Jaime had personally painted gold to match his old Kingsguard uniform.

 

“Bring it on!” He called back at her, laughing as she enthusiastically lunged, and he danced into the way of her strike, feeling it land across his thigh. “Oh!” he cried, dramatically diving onto the floor and lolling his tongue as he pretended to be dead. She jumped on top of him, and giggled as he rained kisses down on to her cheeks.

 

“I told you I was going to get you!” She grinned, as she playfully bopped him on the nose, kneeling up on his chest. “This is fun!” She paused thoughtfully, and grasped the golden fingers of his fake hand, running her fingers over the cool metal. “When I grow up, am I going to be a knight like Mummy was?”

 

“Joanna,” Jaime smiled, using the name that Brienne had chosen for their daughter, the name that had once been his mother’s. He slid her down so that she was perched in his lap, as he sat up to look her in the eye. “You can be _whatever you want to be_ … Just like Mummy was.”


End file.
